the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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