I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
