I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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