yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
