u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
