I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
