i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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