epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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