I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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