I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
