Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
