You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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