did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
