Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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