i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
