All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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