So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
