Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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