He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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