New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
