Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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