Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
