So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
