I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize