k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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