non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
