I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
