Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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