I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
