Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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