You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
