Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
