I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just high enough for therapy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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