so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
