your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize