My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
