Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
