fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
