I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
