Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
