Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
