i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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