Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
