we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
