This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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