I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
