your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
