I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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