Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
