Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
