She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
