Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
