this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
