I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
