is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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