problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you're hired as official boob wrangler
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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