Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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